Sense of an ending
One of the
many - very many - complaints I have
about live music is that most bands appear to put very little effort into
starting or finishing their performances with any particular artistry. Knowarrimean? These
clunky start/finish efforts come in all shapes and sizes. One of the most
common (and possibly the worst) is that thing where one of the group (usually
the singer) chirrups up with “How ya’ll doing tonight” on the mic right at the
very beginning. Oh dear. Before they’re even played a tiny bit of one of their rubbishy
songs they’ve already killed the mood (if there was any mood). Endings are
often equally banal - and too long in coming anyway because of many bands’
vaingloriously over-extended sets. An announcement that “this is our
last one” is a classic dud approach, as is the cranked-up drums before the
final, delayed “fer-dumpf” drum beat (as mocked by John Peel on his show way
back when). No, this
won’t do at all. The initial and concluding moments of a live performance are …
well, they’re as important as any other part of the sweaty little efforts we’re
subjected to, and in fact are arguably the most
important parts. Come on everyone. Make an effort! I won’t bore you with a
tedious list, but a few examples of scintillating starts and excellent endings
from the back catalogue …
Starts:
Paul Collins Beat bursting into Hangin’ On The Telephone with zero notice at a
gig in 2008, an opening that - bizarrely enough - sent shivers down the
proverbial spine (mine at least). The effect wore off after about 30 seconds
and by the end of the song (never mind the rest of the set) it was all rather
so-so, but the start … Also featuring good openers: a Selfish Cunt gig where a woman in
some kind of vaguely threatening face paint appeared in a single spotlight on
a darkened stage, played a mournful trumpet piece for about a minute and then
proceeded to intone “London’s burning / London’s fucking burning” over and over
again in a genuinely unsettling way. There was Herman Dune’s drole “Good evening
Sheffield” which worked because one of the band was wearing a Mexican poncho
that seemed off-kilter that night in just the right way. And who can forget
that Killing Joke gig many moons ago at a biggish college auditorium where the people
at the front erupted into moshing mayhem as soon as the Killing Jokers crashed
into Love Like Blood (or whatever it was)? This is memorable for me because of the
way that myself and my weakling friends were caught totally off-guard, having
accidentally taken a position near the front unaware that tribal war-dancing
was about to break out … Yes, all good ones and there have probably been quite a few more that I can't think of right now.
Endings:
my favourite is probably a Go-Betweens set-finisher one long-ago night in the
80s when they slowed down the finale of their concluding song and synchronised
the final drum beat with the house lights going completely off. Hey! Other fave
endings: an Uncle John & Whitelock gig from about 2005 where they finished
and the singer immediately jumped off the (small) stage and began throwing
himself around in the audience in time with the first post-gig tune from the DJ (all done with such sheer
joyful abandon it was a wonder to behold). Another good one was a Hospitals gig
where the drummer attacked his drum-kit with a ferocity that would surely have
awed the puny-wristed Keith Moon. I may be imagining this now, but I think
during the last chaotic minutes the drummer split several drum skins and
eventually kicked the entire kit into several broken pieces. Funny stuff.
Anyway,
you get the picture. What went on in the main parts of these gigs I can now hardly
recall. That’s kind of the point, right? So come on - give us something
memorable at the beginning and at the end (and preferably in between as well).
But in any case stop all this introducing and thanking. This soul-crushing
issuing of reminders of forthcoming gigs and crappy merch. Please! Give us a
sense of a beginning, a middle and an end. And now stop reading. This blog post is over. Finished. E finito. Bye. Thanks for reading. Oh ... sorry, I forgot to tell you. I'll be posting here on this blog again next week. Why not check it out? Oh, and you can set up an RSS feed if you want to. And send me an email if you'd like me to blog on something in particular. And another thing. No, wait. Listen. Wait! Don't go ....
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