Hit for six: why preserving records is a lot like trying to stay in at cricket

I seem these days to be doing my utmost to delete, degrade or otherwise destroy the music in my possession. As mentioned in rather tedious detail on this blog before, I've had too many mishaps to mention: records warping on a sunny windowsill, iTunes melting down in several creative ways, large plants crashing over onto records or spraying sticky gunk onto them, and ... other stuff. The latest is my battle with the Mysterious Sticky Yellow Slime (MSYS). About 18 months ago, I started to notice an unpleasant yellow-brown stain along the bottom of some of my record sleeves. Wtf, I thought. How long's that been there? Is it just this one, or is it others? Of course, it turned out to be others. Many others. In total it was about 75 of my 12" singles - all affected by an unpleasant tide mark along the bottom. Hmm. Records I'd held onto without any problem for 30-35 years suddenly looking ... ruined.

Or were they? A difficult one. My tidy-freak tendencies were sorely tested, but after belatedly studying the issue in some detail last night I've come to the conclusion that one can live with a few MSYS stains on records that are (obviously) worth retaining for their music qualities but also - sleeves-wise - worth keeping for their sleeve art/design qualities. But believe me, dear reader, I went through a tense hour or so last night. Yes, I came very close to writing off a batch of 12" sleeves that now had - so I thought - damaged covers far too unsightly to remain in my possession. Ones that would have to be replaced by plain-white paper sleeves. That very night. I'd even counted out the replacements: 22 of them at a minimum. Covers by revered designers like Peter Saville and Vaughan Oliver were getting ripped up and junked. But no, sense prevailed! Old records (and old objects/artifacts of all kinds) are going to have some of the accidental markings and discolorations of age, aren't they? Old possessions aren't going to be in pristine condition ("mint", as the Discogs fanatics like to say). You use this stuff. Play it. Move it from house to house. Lay the records out on this set of shelves, then that. They age ... So, yes, I've made my peace* with the MSYS disaster. Apart from about 15 records that were originally inside either in-house record company sleeves or simple plain ones (ie ones which could be harmlessly replaced by plain-white paper sleeves) the soiled bulk - the sullied mass - are staying that way. Let's hear it for .... dirt and decay! But hang on, what's this breaking news I'm hearing from my partner? "Oh, that might be from the time when I put all the oil down on the floor to make the wood look better ..." Agggh! It was a linseed oil misadventure. Mystery solved! Now I just need to find my old Gunn & Moore cricket bat and get her to linseed that. (Oh no, the bat's slipped out of her hand and smashed down on my records again. Owzat! Another duck ...). To conclude, fellow record cover enthusiast, here are four samples from the now much-sought-after (and no longer mysterious) sticky yellow slime collection:



*Postscript: later on I changed my mind completely and decided I couldn't live with the dreaded yellow stains on the sleeves. Nope, I had to refresh the worst-hit sleeves with snowy-white plain ones. A sad denouement. Very sad.









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