Now I wanna sniff some price sticker glue

"Now I want to sniff some glue / Now I want to have somethin' to do ..."

Yes, that's right. That's me! Desperately wanting to sniff some glue. Well OK, not really. But the people who put the price stickers on the records I've been buying these past few weeks appear to think that yes, that guy who's just - like a sucker - bought that stack of boring indie records would like nothing better than to struggle for half an hour to remove each super-adhesive sticker, scratching and scratching, getting little bits of glue under his cracked thumbnail, inhaling the fumes of ... despair and futility. Hmm. Not exactly important though, is it? A few price stickers. Just shut up and get them off you're probably thinking. Yes, but why does a shop - a shop that basically makes money out of selling secondhand records that they adorn with their own branded price stickers  - not realise that their bloody stickers won't come off without disfiguring the very thing that their customers have bought? "Here mate, here are the keys to that £25,000 car you've just bought off us, but obviously you'll have to drive it out of our special garage which has walls so close together that you'll almost certainly scrape the sides and remove some of the paintwork, don't mind that do you, it's a great car after all ..?" It's basically willful tampering with the merchandise. The shops I frequent in London don't ever seem to remove any of the earlier price stickers either. Instead, they apparently just slap another one of theirs over the top. And sometimes another and another, as they struggle to find the price at which they can palm their stuff off on their dumb customers. I've sometimes scraped four stickers off records I've bought. Yes, thanks for selling me these records and giving me the pleasure of all this anxious scraping and peeling. Much obliged. Back when I was about 14, there was a minor glue-sniffing craze among the kids I hung out with. It was the punk "fashion" - something someone had heard about (probably from reading their parents' News Of The World) and wanted to emulate over the playing fields where we congregated. A few of the "tougher" lads would have their crisp packets filled with noxious-smelling glue which they would rather theatrically inhale and pretend to be feeling the hallucinogenic effects. Huuuuffff, pheeeeew. Huuuuffff, pheeeeew. Crazy stuff. Not sure, but I think I was too scared to have a try. But now that's all changed. I'm a solvent addict. I sniff record price sticker glue on a regular basis. And this is now my theme tune: 1-2-3-4, now I want to sniff some price sticker glue / Now I want to sniff some price sticker glue ...